There was a young man from Dundee,
Who thought he could fight like Bruce Lee,
He drank lots of Bucky,
and felt really lucky,
But broke his arm punching a tree! 
Limericks/Rhymes....keep it clean, if possible :)
Sort:
There was an old teacher called Leach,
Who took the whole class to the beach.
It said on a sign,
`Watch out for the mine '
The last thing they heard was his screech. 
The only limrick I know has the word 'Nantucket'. 
kleelof wrote:
The only limrick I know has the word 'Nantucket'.
So it rhymes with bucket? 
There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Who usually charged just a penny
For half of that sum
You might fondle her bum
The source of amusement to many
kayak21 wrote:
There was an old girl of Kilkenny
Who usually charged just a penny
For half of that sum
You might fondle her bum
The source of amusement to many
I thought this was supposed to be clean?
But perhaps is was not what it seemed.
So I'll rethink my thinker,
and try to produce a non-sinker.
I have a beer in my hand,
of which my wife is no great fan.
But I'll drop her a pence,
in the hopes to convince.
There was a pony of knight,
his words were such a fright.
His beer he allnight spilt,
on his freshly cleaned kilt.
There was a young man from Perth,
Who was born on the day of his birth.
He was married, they say,
On his wife's wedding day,
And died when he quitted the earth.
Unless you can make your own,
I'll only moan.
A limirck about none,
just ain't no fun.
If I went to earth,
and I went to perth,
I'd still only say checkmate,
if this limerck you could congegate.
Mar 26, 2015
0
#13
HueyWilliams wrote:
there once was a guy named pdela
who was quite a libidinous fella
one dream had him smitten
that trysts and WhipKitten
would dance with him the tarantella
There once was a clod named pdela
Whose brain was near dead from canned Stella
His thoughts most hurried
A Mother quite worried
Brightness of a single candela
pdela was rude and unloved.
His name was dragged through the mud.
He liked the attention —
Thought he'd made a connection,
How could he so badly misjudged?
that curious gourmand pdela
discovering some salmonella
said, "My, this tastes good
like a botulin should!
I'll spread it on my mortadella"
the image of pdela retching
is nothing which I would term "fetching"
one solace I've drawn
from his vomitous yawn:
at least it will halt his kvetching
there once was a priest named pdela
who was quite a devout pious fella
in word and in deed
he was e'er the good seed
like his idol, Fra Savonarela
There was a man called pdela from Spain,
whose antics were frightfully insane,
a meltdown a week,
people called him a freak,
I wonder what was going on in his brain?
there was a wee man called pdela
who liked to cover his balls in nutella
his dog would lick
but quickly be sick
the nutella tasted more like mozarella
Cos pdela is a gorjiss fella
He got under Rihanna's umbrella
She stripped to her knicks
And demanded his licks
While she peeled something bent and yella.
There was a young freak from Spain
Whose comments were mostly inane
He chased all the ladies
Desperate for babies
But all he made was a stain
It is obvious to this North AMerican,
that your limirck origin,
is copied from memory,
from the last century.
An elf said to Santa: "Oh Dear,
We've not enough presents this year"
That made St. Nick think:
Now he'd given up drink
He could give all the children some beer!
Oh! Poor pdela. Lucky he has a thick skin..............on his head, lol 
The mighty limerick came from Ireland,
we can all agree is no diamond,
but all you lousy brits,
suck at this game of wits.
kayak21 wrote:
Oh! Poor pdela. Lucky he has a thick skin..............on his head, lol
That doesn't even rhyme but, somehow, it is the best one.
Either make up your own limericks or get them from the internet. Keep it fun, keep it clean, if possible. lol