"OI SANTA WHERE'S MY BIKE !!!"

Oi Santa , wheres me bike , ive been goodish all year but see nowt I like

I didn't snitch to mum about you kissing dad last year or even that your reindeer urinated in grannies beer

so you know I never threaten so we both know this is clear

I better get a bike this flaming year

exactly what kind of bike do you want?, my son

A touring bike to take you places,

A racer puts you thru your paces,

A kiddies trike play in your yard,

An office bike you could ride hard,

A BMX to pull a stunt,

An Ebike, cuz you're a lazy c#nt.

gits ! im trying to write a letter to santa ,ie confidentshall / well more a ransom note but I aint nicked his sledge yet , but honestly I do my nicest for donkeys ages and he has sent me a pair of socks ? not on and we all know it

gift giving can be a noble thing , however getting a lawn mower makes you an UNPAID  cutter of grass

but look at the harm you do