Want a Girlfriend?

We on OTF see the countless “How to get a girlfriend” threads repeatedly. And while we all complain about them, very few of us are willing to step forward and give advice to these individuals. But since I’m way nicer than everyone else, I’ve made an extremely helpful thread showing different ways to get a girlfriend. For our girlies reading this thread, you guys can follow along and agree with my advice, and show that they’re doing the right thing by listening to what this thread has to say. I’ll try to keep this short, but with all there is to say, I imagine it’ll still be a fairly long thread. Still, it’s worth reading. True story!


Buy one! It’s that simple! Buying a girlfriend is a sure-fire way to… get a girlfriend! While she may only be temporary and there for your money, you’ll have your girlfriend! Just be sure to pamper her and buy her everything she ever wants to keep her for as long as possible.


Ask for one on forum sites, clubs, and wherever else! If you’re not rich and have no social skills to talk to anyone at all, online sites are a great place to seek a romantic partner! Be sure to make an “I want a girlfriend” thread and friend every single girl you see. You should immediately ask them if they’d be willing to date you instead of talking to them first. There are plenty of dating clubs on chess.com to join for this purpose, as well!


Let’s say you’re more sophisticated and want to somehow get a girlfriend in real life. There are many things you can do to swexy yourself up and maximize your chance of dating a girlie! First, you must take two showers per day for at least three minutes each. You must thoroughly brush your teeth so that you have a decent smile, and you have to floss food out of your teeth every time you eat. You must pour cologne onto all of your clothes since your shower didn’t make you smell particularly swexy enough. You should probably gel your hair and carry a towel around to wipe the sweat off of your face every time you see a woman within ten feet of you. And last but not least, you should wear very tight pants that you can barely button up and make it uncomfortable to walk around or sit down. You won’t regret it, but your waist might.


If you’re finally ready to talk to this special someone, here’s my advice. Get a peppermint before talking, since your breath probably stinks. Then, when you finally want to say something, you have to make your voice sound super deep and manly since she’ll think that you’re so hot for doing so. Since you have better things to do than talk to some girl, you should use one pickup line and leave. I recommend that you say “Pardon my French, but can you speak in tongues?” so that you get their attention. Other Ari lines work as well.


But what if that’s too much pressure? Not to fear, Basix is here for advice! You should simply be yourself and look for the right girl for you. You need to be patient and not rush into a relationship so quickly. What if it’s not all about how much cologne you wear, how deep your voice is, and your swexyness in general? It’s as easy as talking to a girl for a while as friends and trying to start a relationship. Be patient, start talking to this particular girl for a while, and only then should you try and date her. Let your amazing personality shine, or whatever.


Don’t worry, I’m just kidding you. Don’t take that seriously. It’s 1 am and I thought I would throw in a joke. I’m sleep-deprived and shouldn’t be here…
That’s all! There’s more, of course, but we would be here all day if I were to share everything here with you. Not all heroes wear capes, some give great dating advice to online communities. Good luck on your journey to getting a girlfriend, and I hope my advice to you was helpful! Thanks for reading, have an amazing day, and continue to be the swexy eternal sunshine that you are! Get out there and let your swexyness shine!

SO CUTESY

"amazing personality" good one. now how much will option one cost? /j

Helpful, helpful.

"since your breath probably stinks" And I took that personally.

Don’t take it personally. I have bad breath also, darling.

I can’t read all of it I’m on mobile

One sec.

It’s fine, really

swexy yourself up and maximize your chance of dating a girlie! First, you must take two showers per day for at least three minutes each. You must thoroughly brush your teeth so that you have a decent smile, and you have to floss food out of your teeth every time you eat. You must pour cologne onto all of your clothes since your shower didn’t make you smell particularly swexy enough. You should probably gel your hair and carry a towel around to wipe the sweat off of your face every time you see a woman within ten feet of you. And last but not least, you should wear very tight pants that you can barely button up and make it uncomfortable to walk around or sit down. You won’t regret it, but your waist might.


If you’re finally ready to talk to this special someone, here’s my advice. Get a peppermint before talking, since your breath probably stinks. Then, when you finally want to say something, you have to make your voice sound super deep and manly since she’ll think that you’re so hot for doing so. Since you have better things to do than talk to some girl, you should use one pickup line and leave. I recommend that you say “Pardon my French, but can you speak in tongues?” so that you get their attention. Other Ari lines work as well.


But what if that’s too much pressure? Not to fear, Basix is here for advice! You should simply be yourself and look for the right girl for you. You need to be patient and not rush into a relationship so quickly. What if it’s not all about how much cologne you wear, how deep your voice is, and your swexyness in general? It’s as easy as talking to a girl for a while as friends and trying to start a relationship. Be patient, start talking to this particular girl for a while, and only then should you try and date her. Let your amazing personality shine, or whatever.

Now there’s just a big blank paragraph

Oh nvm

Thx

What if it’s not all about how much cologne you wear, how deep your voice is, and your swexyness in general? It’s as easy as talking to a girl for a while as friends and trying to start a relationship. Be patient, start talking to this particular girl for a while, and only then should you try and date her. Let your amazing personality shine, or whatever.


Don’t worry, I’m just kidding you. Don’t take that seriously. It’s 1 am and I thought I would throw in a joke. I’m sleep-deprived and shouldn’t be here…
That’s all! There’s more, of course, but we would be here all day if I were to share everything here with you. Not all heroes wear capes, some give great dating advice to online communities. Good luck on your journey to getting a girlfriend, and I hope my advice to you was helpful! Thanks for reading, have an amazing day, and continue to be the swexy eternal sunshine that you are! Get out there and let your swexyness shine!

Bumping this so that it shows up on OTF instead of getting deleted. This happens when the latest poster gets muted or banned.

W advice

Just beware of dudes posing as girls ! ….cos there’s plenty of them lol 😝……you could end up with a nasty surprise ! 🙀

Yes, absolutely. That’s what we consider “fake swexyness”.

Correct 👍 🤓

Did you read this? You could use it more than anyone.